March and April- Ready Reckoners.

Going back through time now to the lists I have found recently.  I am very pleased about all the new abbreviations of food stuffs I am seeing when you just haven't got the time to write them down in full. C Beef is a favourite here and for my tea later I might make C Beef H- Corned Beef Hash for the less busy heads.

Crisp.

2 bananas.

For face or walls? 

Angel Delight.

Weet but NO EGGS.

Important Page Contents.

I don't understand.

Penny count up for March and April £4.72. Best times- £1 coin and a renegade 50p by the trolleys. Worst time- A 1p that had an unmentionable smell but I still collected it and put it with its new family after being wiped. 

50p World and Charles and Diana Penchants -asking for a friend.

I have so far amassed quite a lot of ludicrous 50p gifts to myself these past couple of weeks. Like this Nana and her striped car rug.

Robin and his cardigan with cig. 

Holiday entertainment - There are not 400 pieces inside.

A crying child.

A key holder, thermometer, postcard holder, Spanish dance party and keeper of tiny pots.

Feelings.

Fuel.

Fun.

Failure.

I am currently getting together all my Charles and Diana things to photograph and make into a handy pamphlet. Do you have any treats with their faces on around your house? Don't want them anymore? Do you want me to take care of them? I can pay you in beach coal, sea glass and shells, ripped up bits of paper and sherbet Dip Dabs. Say aiya and we can chat tat.

The Hulliday, Day 3, Getting Lost, Country House, Boyes, Home. The End.

Our final day in Hull started with another Lenny's breakfast and gratis Marmites. After packing our things and waving goodbye out of the window, we consulted our itinerary and headed to the university to see the Gulbenkian Centre. This is unfortunately where this story ends as we couldn't park, couldn't find it and became cross and hot. This is OK though as we can still see Martin Chalk, but again we drove past it, couldn't turn round and ended up on the road to Beverley so all in all the last bits of itinerary were spoiled. However we did have a lifeline in Burton Constable Hall so off we went.

The problem we had here was that the main house only opened in April which was most upsetting as we had planned on the drive up to sashay away down the grand halls, see velvet curtains and nice wallpapers to go 'ooh' at but instead we had a cup of tea and a piece of cake and walked around the grounds.

Loyal beastie.

After covering the grounds and chatting to our new sheep friends we decided to head back and maybe this time stop at Ferrybridge for more tea and 'the experience' and maybe an egg out of the machines that give you a ring with jewels on. But STOP! We drove through a mini high street and saw a shop that made us make a noise. There were knickers and flipflops in the window and a haberdashery section and we immediately parked up and ran to it. Boyes isn't somewhere I have been in before, there aren't any near me but I have since learned my nearest one is in Royton so I I have noted this down.

Lace, Tweed and Panache. All good things a lady needs. 

I will never let this bag out of my sight.

£1 shop mallows and lovely carpet runner.

The best thing came from the charity shop which now sits on my collection of Galt toy things shelf.

With our Boyes bags filled to the top with Astral and Yorkshire mix we said farewell and made our way back to the motorway. Here is a picture of Ferrybridge under the gantry to the North. We again missed the turning so no eggs with rings in or experience.

©sarah Fordham

©sarah Fordham

My final thoughts of Hull have been great, its a great city with lovely people and lots to see and do. We will definitely be back by the end of the year to see the things we missed, drive on the bridge and eat more buffet. There's lots more to see during the culture year but don't just go for that, go regardless as it's dead good.

All websites accessed 30th April 2017.

The Hulliday-Day 2, Walking, Evenings, Resting and Flood Barriers Part 5.

It was starting to become apparent on the incredible journey to the Fruit Market that resting is important. We tried our best to keep chipper but we were falling into the hungry, maybe getting a bit tired, need my ear muffs, shoes are hurting, too many leaflets in the bags- insert other things in the bags that we didn't need to carry. 'Its fine though as we can eat there Sarah!' I said. Still with hope in our hearts that Sarah Lucas would be there for us to see, we continued through the very clean streets and saw these things; 

I bought some stamps in here. Very pleasent and orderly.

We we were drifting and becoming lost, we were overwhelmed and needed a shortcut and we chose a very nice one at that. You can read all about Hepworth Arcade HERE. I especially like this part-

'Joseph Hepworth took the first steps towards building his dream arcade in 1888.'  

and this bit-

 'The original intention to name it Victoria Arcade in honour of the reigning monarch had, by then, been dropped by Hepworth in favour of naming it after himself.'

A dream arcade of ones very own.

Outside into the light we saw more fish and some lovely glass on Holy Trinity Church.

In the distance after crossing over we had arrived at the Fruit Market (quarter). They said change is happening, we believed them, we had come here special, we had come to see Sarah Lucas.

We checked our dates -check, we consulted our map- correct and we viewed the timetable -present, however through the windy street we found that it was very quiet. Where was everybody? We looked at The Female Gaze exhibition window, right place and we wanted to see it. We tried the door-closed.

Closed.

Oh look, we wanted to see this- closed- (However upon checking it had moved to a new location back where we had originally started from at 10am that morning, so closed.)

It is OK though as these oranges are nice and the Humber Street Gallery is here and we can eat first and see Power in Woman and Sarah Lucas. Stop going on about it, we eat and look.

I would like to tell you that we saw the Sarah Lucas sculptures, the one big thing that we were excited about seeing and one of the main reasons we visited. I would like to say that we spent hours in there and laughed and pointed at things all the time thinking yes, this is very good, THIS IS IT!

What I can tell you is that we went inside and looked at the menu, we ordered halloumi wraps and a cup of well deserved tea. Sarah asked about the exhibition that was on and where about it was and like a bolt of lightening we were told it had been taken away. Just gone. As if Grotbags had flown in, clicked her fingers and turned it into dust. Just gone. We repeated these words throughout eating our wraps which were swallowed whole in temper. Just gone. We gathered our thoughts and tried to smile but we couldn't. I didn't smile again until I thought about what I was going to have for my tea later but it took a lot of doing to make that happen.

Just gone. 

We left and we felt flouncy and cross. Everybody had gone, just like Sarah Lucas. Just gone. The only light in this terribly dark tunnel came from a man with a 21st birthday balloon. He had decided to come out on his birthday, have a nice tea, wander round the fruit market and probably wanted to see Sarah Lucas but as it was gone he kept walking. On closer inspection it seemed he had done what we have all done at some point, new shoes without socks. His poor heels were a mess and we wanted to help, offer plasters but they were all gone. 

Deflated and not sure of our facial expressions we decided to seek solace back at Lennys. We saw The Deep which we realise now we should have visited instead to avoid the earlier events but I'm trying to gloss over it as it is just too emotional. In fact no I am right pissed off about it and I want a turtle teddy and a pencil and to see the stingrays. Oooh I tell you.

The Hull flood barrier calmed us with its beauty and guided us back to Lenny with feelings of 'not wanting it to be spoilt but...'

Barrier of beauty.

Just gone.

Back at Lenny's we sat and plotted but then ended up sitting until teatime. Here are some nice out of Lenny's window pictures- The two tall poles in the distance are part of the Humber Bridge.

If you look closely next to the church on the left you can see coloured lights. This is called 'I Wish To Communicate With You' by Italian artist Silvio Palladino. Here are some words about it from The Goodwin Trust

'I Wish To Communicate With You is an ambitious mass participation project engaging local residents in a major art installation. Over the upcoming weeks Thornton Estate will get a full colour makeover with the majority of the 600 residents, living in 240 homes, across the five high-rise tower blocks participating in this large-scale light installation.

Tinted filters will be fitted in the communal lighting areas and coloured sheets will be stuck in the window panes of each property. As darkness falls a collage of colour will be created across the estate, free for all to view.'

Ideally we should have gone to see it properly but once spotted out the window and looking at our comfort wear and cardigans we decided we had seen it so it was OK.

We ate our big proper tea of fish, chips and peas in Lenny's and waddled back upstairs for Inspector Frost and rest. Until the morning came of our departure day, we planned our last few activities to be completed and tried to unset our faces. PS- Inspector Frost wasn't on.

All websites and links accessed 15th April 2017.